The Baker's Rack

Happy New Year, BBRC-ers! We at BBRC would like to start the new year off right by providing you with some new material from our favorite author, Rebeccah Love Ervin. This particularly tasty treat, entitled "The Baker's Rack," will leave you craving that sweet sinful sensation in your mouths that only certain kinds of delights can quell. We invite you now to sit back, have a buttered rum, and enjoy as you feast your eyes upon "The Baker's Rack..." the first BBRC tale of 2012!

Brigitte had been employed with the city's finest pastry shop, Fétiche Nourriture, for nearly six months, and the head pastry chef, Serge, had noticed her from day one. From the start, he had felt his attraction for her grow exponentially every time he saw her. He loved the way she came in when their day began at 4:00 in the morning, her yellowing eyes mysteriously hidden beneath her swollen, crusty eyelids, the way her morning breath wafted into the kitchen announcing her arrival five minutes prior to her actually entering, and most of all, the way her yellow-gray hair stuck out on end, as she'd only managed to get half of it up into a ponytail before leaving her house. When the shop owner informed them they'd be on their own that day, as he was taking the other pastry chefs to the market to sell their wares, it was the only excuse Serge needed.

"Ahem," Serge began. "Brigitte, do you think I might have a word with you?"
"Sure, " said Brigitte. "Is it about that brioche? I was quite sure I'd made enough for the day, but if you need me to make some more..."
"It's not about the brioche," Serge interrupted. "I...I wanted to tell you that from the first time I set my eyes upon you, I knew I wanted to taste your lips..."
"Oh!" Brigitte exclaimed. "No, please! I don't want to end up in a human stew!"
"What? No!" Serge said. "No, I don't mean in the serial killer kind of way...I mean I want to taste your lips...BOTH sets of lips, while they're still on you..."
"Oh. Oh! Why Serge..."

Serge came in for the kiss before Brigitte could say anything else. Brigitte responded in kind, plunging her dry, cracked tongue between Serge's six missing front teeth. She stroked his Lionel Richie perm-mullet, taking care that the clumps of hair that came off in her hands were properly disposed of away from the food. His hands wandered all over Brigitte's body, her torso reminiscent of the chocolate chip walnut cookie dough he had been working with only moments before. He felt her sticky cinnamon buns under her chef's whites, flakes of skin falling off of them like they do off the fresh baklava they prepare daily. She reached down and felt the fullest extent of his baguette, rising like the yeast they had set out the night before. He moaned as she began to knead with both hands. Before long, Serge made his way down to the real sweet and savory treat... She put up no resistance as he pulled down her trousers, revealing his favorite guilty pleasure in his entire repertoire...the bacon-maple doughnut. He plunged in, cracking the creme brulee-style glaze that had formed over it. Brigitte cried out with surprise and pleasure, and grabbed his long beard, still filled with all sorts of goodies that had been stuck there from previous weeks of baking. Soon after, he plunged his fully-risen baguette into her bacon flaps, and the two began rolling to and fro, like the rolling pins they used for the sugar cookie dough. It only took a few moments before Serge's pastry tube verrily overflowed with sweet white cream, nearly bursting the tip off his piping bag as they cried out together in blinding ecstacy.

As they lay on the tile floor of the kitchen, exhausted but happy, Brigitte snuggled into the billowing hair of Serge's armpit. "Well, lover," she said, "you sure know how to dine on the vagine."

We at BBRC hope you were thrilled with Rebeccah Love Ervin's newest installment, welcoming in the 2012 year! You can own this story for 129 easy payments of $.97 (+$3.88 s/h, of course). Order now, and we'll send you your very own bacon-maple flavored self-glazing lubricating gel as a free gift. Just heat it up over the stove before use and experience the taste and smell of bacon-maple goodness in your own home.